It's GO Time, Peeps

Goal 3600
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Captain: Yanky Statman
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"The best defense is a good offense." - George Washington

"Clearly George Washington knew literally nothing about hockey." - Jordan Cusner

I'm not gonna lie, when I recently heard about this George Washington character, I was more than a little miffed. The best defense, as only a shutdown defender like me should be allowed to discuss in the first place, needn't nor should ever be used to rhetorically validate the quality of any offensive unit. Candidly, it's a small tragedy that we must share the ice with those goal-oriented hoodlums at all; fallacious adages are a bridge too far.

Speaking of bridges, and in light of Mr. Washington's poor judgment when it comes to his deep-seated bias against those willing - no, eager! - to sacrifice their own safety to selflessly protect the sanctity of the oft elusive shutout, perhaps a reckoning IS in order, come to think of it, maybe we DO have too many monuments erected in his honor after all!

And so, I say to Mr. Washington, in the words of Alexander Hamilton (also a lousy hockey player, I'm told), "you may think you're hot shit but please step off until your eponymous Broadway show is unrelenting, unintelligible* and unavoidable."

*This may come as a surprise, but rap wasn't really Alexander Hamilton's thing.

Do not fear!? All is not lost!? There's something you can do!? Don't let Washington or Hamilton (or those insufferable Penguins in Pittsburgh) take the wind from your sails!? Because ...

On April 7 & 8 I will be facing off against cancer as I play in the annual RCCS Hockey Classic, benefiting the families and patients of RCCS.

The mission of RCCS is to tackle cancer challenges, ease medical treatment, cover insurance premiums to lighten the financial burden, and make cancer care more accessible. Without this great organization, 4,618 patients would stare death in the face with little chance of recovery and survival. RCCS stands by each individual throughout every step of the process, holding their hands along the way to help them fight and win the war against cancer.

Please help this life saving organization by supporting me and my team, The Baltimore Bandits, as we face off against cancer, and show Washington once and for all who truly runs things around here.


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